First What Does Preface Mean (To Be Sure)
and what do you think of this;
Pure
Preface
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I did something differently. How would it change someone’s life? Like everyone, I have regrets. And I have made enough mistakes for a lifetime. But I have learned from them. But this time I will make sure that I have no possible way of making a mistake. Because this is life or death. People’s lives are at stake. And, I don’t know how, but I am not going to let them die. I will have to be brave and protect them in every way I can. Until I can’t protect them any more.
1
1. Memories.
It burned as the pain rushed through my veins. I could feel the liquid burning my body. Poison. I knew what was happening. It was destroying my human body. Changing me into a witch. I was scared about what would happen. Would I make it? My mother used to tell me stories about how her friend didn’t make it through the transformation. But she told me not to fear as she said I wouldn’t have to make the change. But deep inside I knew that I would, just like my father, mother and brother had too. And I would follow in their footsteps.
The poison struck my heart and my eyes shut and my muscles clenched with pain. I found it hard too breathe and I started too shake. “Please Carlos! Make it stop!” my mother, Mara, shouted to my dad. I could hear her crying over my pain. I felt bad for her but I knew my dad had to give me the poison or I would have died. It struck again and I
couldn’t take it anymore. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the pain. But it kept on attacking me violently. I took a deep heavy breathe, closed my eyes, and forgot about all of it and focused on my family. How my dad, Carlos, used to tuck me in and then my mum, Mara, would come and do it all over again. And how my brother, William, would sneak into my room and read me a story. I loved thinking of them and all of the happy memories we have shared. All of a sudden the pain stopped as I looked at my family in my mind and I felt relieved and I knew that my family would be there for me, always.
Is This A Good Preface And Start Of First Chapter ?
A preface is like a small introduction, it's like what you did.
I'm sorry to say this, and I know a lot of other people will say it too, its too similar to twilight and im thinking that's where you got it and the %26quot;preface%26quot; from.
But other than the idea, the writing is really amazing and if I hadn't already read Twilight, I would so fall in love with your story.
You're talented.
But maybe change how she go transformed, research about witches, their history and myths. and BTW, witches aren't poisonous, their just mystic.
Don't give up, like I said, you're talented. And take the complements and the criticism.
Is This A Good Preface And Start Of First Chapter ?
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Wow that is really good!! If I was a book I would so buy it!
please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
omg page turner right there lol if there more pages!!!
if it wasnt just like twilight it would be good you have amazing talent just use some new ideas please answer mine :) http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak0p9VknKLMPI69bTz1uIS3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090727062525AAVjMNG
That's really good, keep it up. I'm curious to know what happens next. A suggestion would be to watch using the same word repeatedly. For instance, 'It burned,' then 'burning my body' in the very next sentence. Perhaps you could say 'coursing through my body' or something. You do it again with the word 'pain.' As a reader I'd like to see different words describing things.
As a whole though, nice job!
