Ok. My ex who I been with for over a year has recently broken up with me. We've been going through some problems and he told me honestly that he still felt I did something with someone because they gave me a ride home from work one night. I felt hurt because he didn't trust me. He didn't brake up with me during that time, he broke it off a few weeks later after we had an argument about not spending alot of time together because of work and family issues. I constantly nagged and complained to him about us. He got tired of the nagging and said that he can't handle being with me anymore. He said we need to be apart and not speak as lovers anymore but only as friends. I tried and pleaded but he said no.
4 days later I tried to plead with him again but I angered him even more. I told him I'm sorry and will try to change my ways but he says people don't change overnight. He said he is moving on with someone else but she's not his girlfriend. He brought up the time when I got a ride with a friend and says he's still not over that. After that he starting saying some real hurtful things like he doesn't have the same feelings for me anymore and the spark isn't there. He's not infatuated with me anymore and I need to let it go. He told me to that I will get stronger and learn from this. He also told me the best way to get over it is to get a %26quot;friend%26quot;. I have mixed feelings because I know some people say things when they are hurt to make themseleves feel good then they let go but in this case I'm not too sure.
Anyways he says that he will always be there for me and still loves me but not romantically. He says he still care and want to be friends because I will always have him. But at the same time he doesn't feel comfortable being around me he says which got me confused because how can you be friends with someone but not be comfortable around them? He said he doesn't want to have sex either because feelings are still there. He made that clear.....at least he tried too.
It took me a little time to heal but I'm moving on. I decided not to call or ever contact him. We work near each other but he is easily avoidable. Well just 7 days later he called out of the blue to see how I'm doing and what I been up to as if nothing happened. I just ended the convo quickly saying that I'm busy because honestly I didn't feel comfortable talking to him. I just thought it was weird.
His close male friends came to talk to me one day and told me as long as I give him space he will come back. He just was angry and said bad things to make him feel good because he is like that when he gets hurt. But I also explained to them that he said he moved on with someone but they said that new becomes old and he may get tired of her. Just give it time, give it about 3 weeks at least and watch how he will change. Just always be nice and friendly and never show that I'm hurt. Always show that I'm happy if he's around. (His friends love me and loved us as a couple which is why they care)
It's hard to let go because we had deep feelings. I'm love him and a little hurt by the things he said but if I was to ever bring him back into my life I will make sure he will not take me for granted. I will make sure things will change and we start off fresh. He will not be in control. But that's IF we get back together.
But the question is do you think he could change his mind and want to get back together? Despite all the things that he said do you think there's still a chance? Like other guys said people say things out of anger but their feelings can change over a period of time. Has anymore ever been through somethings like this but gotten back together? I really need answers from the guys the most but anyone can answer.
Please note: Yes I can move on and forget. I just really want to know if people's feelings can change despite all the things they said in the past. I'm just confused right now and need more advise. Only serious answers please.
Do some people have a change of heart?
ok for one thing he found someone else he was blaming u getting a ride home with someone else that way he had an exuse to leave you and make it look like your fault. he sounds like the jelous type you don't need that. my advice to you is move on don't contact him and if he wants back together dont' do it. i had a similar experience with my x and everytime he found someone new he broke it off. but when they broke up he came back to me. DON'T BE A DOOR MAT. you will find someone u truely love sooner or later. but please don't go back to this man. usually the ones that are jelous are also abusive. my x i was talking about was as sweet as could be for the first couple years. in the second year he started hitting me by the fourth year i had been in hospital twice and ICU 3 times. please move on.
Do some people have a change of heart?
its true ,people s feelings can change , try on. good luck!
Yes, i think people feelings do change over time when the foundation is not solid, and the person is not strong enough to make it possible. My ex told me he didn't feel the same because of the difficulties and pressure we were going through. I moved on partially though hoping that he would return, but thinking that if he doesn't missing anything about us, then its not worth holding on.
He did not trust you. Right there tells you that there was no love. If he had loved you, he would have been able to trust you. Perhaps he had only been infatuated with you, and was just using that as an excuse to see other people.
Your best bwet is to tell him to either make up his mind now, or you are moving on with your life, and do it!
Dear Friend,
I am also going through the same path in my life. Don't take any decision that there is no scope for patch up. People do change but when is a question mark????????????
Maintain a space from him but respond to his initiative towards U if any. U pl. dont make initiative from your side, What U have to do tp prevent this issue you have done already, Now his responsibility to get U back in his life if he really cares for U and wish U to be his life partner gain.
Let him try and U respond accordingly then only your relationship will get the lost essense of the true relation. Pl. update me on the same.
