A Date to Remember
9/11 remains one of the most shocking moments in most people’s lives. My life in particular was affected drastically by the burning of the twin towers. No one I knew deeply or was in close contact with was hurt by the event, but my life was changed forever by watching all the people who had suffered, and all that they had lost. What I wanted to do with my life had not been clear to me till that point, I realized that I wanted to be able to save people’s lives, I wanted to be a doctor. I will always wonder what was going through the terrorist’s heads as they flew their planes to crash into the twin towers. Did they think of all the lives they would be ruining? I went home on that fateful day, and my parents started watching the collapse of the towers. I stood there, watching the TV, stunned by what I saw and heard. What I saw there caused me many terrible dreams and drove home the fact to me that there are fanatics in this world, for everything, no matter if it’s good or bad. For there is no doubt in my mind that if I could be affected so much by their attack where no one I know was dramatically affected by it, I know that they have changed the whole world.
When people think of 9/11, I’m sure that the first thoughts that come to their minds are horror, devastation, and fear. Over time these feelings must have dulled, but for me, the shock is still there, the same as the day it happened. I was riding home from school with my mom, in our car. We were just driving out of the school, and I was staring out the window, watching the trees start to blur. I was idly listening to the radio, which my mom had turned on, and I picked up a few words, which were enough to make me interested.
“Planes…Towers…Crash………Hundreds dead…” I turned around and started listening more intently, as my mom did. Little did I know that what I was hearing on the radio would launch several countries into a war that would take over five years and hundreds of lives on either side. I barely understood what was happening, but as I listened to the reporter’s stunned silence, I began to comprehend the scale of the disaster that had just happened. I asked my mom if what I had just heard had really happened. She told me that she couldn’t believe it either
I watched the TV that day, in my living room with the fire burning, causing the room to become hotter and hotter. My parents sat there, watching the disaster unfold on the couch, while I pulled up a chair. I felt that the room was becoming to hot, as the scenes I was watching became just as unbearable. I watched the towers collapse over and over again, sending massive clouds of debris and dust everywhere obliterating all streets nearby them. In the days that followed I watched people being pulled out of the rubble screaming in pain, with lost limbs, or burned beyond recognition. Their were children who had their parents taken from them, which to me at that time seemed one of the worst possible things to happen to you in the world. It was at that moment in my life, in the days following 9/11, that I realized what I wanted to do with my life. I was only in 2nd grade at the time, but I have held true to my goal of becoming a doctor ever since.
People have asked me why I want to be a doctor. I tell them that I don’t just want to be a doctor; I want to be a neurosurgeon. Then they normally ask me,
“Well why do you want to be a neurosurgeon?” I say that it’s just because I don’t want my life to go to waste, and I want to be able to help other people regain some hope when they think that they have none. The reality is, that that’s not the full truth. My decision was almost made for me by the catastrophe of 9/11. When I saw all those people who had been hurt, and how their futures held almost nothing for them, I realized that being able to give people their future back would be something that would give me great pleasure. I saw people whose brains had been hit by fragments of glass and metal, who spoke gibberish, or who just couldn’t speak at all. Then there were the people who had seen so much horror, that their brains had just simply left them. In my mind, having a loved one who has lost their mind is almost worse than knowing that they are dead. Time is said to heal all wounds, and no matter how much you love someone, you should eventually be able to get over their death. But if that person is still alive, everyday is a constant reminder of what has happened to them, be they young or old, their life has been ruined. A young person has their future taken away from them, and a very old person has the chance to say goodbye lost. A few days later, I began to hear the miracle worker stories, of how doctors had cured seemingly incurable patients. The families could not thank the doctor’s enough. In one story I watched with my parents on the news, they showed a doctor who had just cured a patient of a mental disease, and then they showed the family’s tear-stricken faces as the
Grade my essay? give me a percent grade please, and any comments you feel like saying?
You did a good job with this essay. You started off very strongly but I think you could have divided your first paragraph into two, after this %26quot;I realized that I wanted to be able to save people’s lives, I wanted to be a doctor%26quot;.
You have absolutely no spelling mistakes and your grammar is perfect, except when you say %26quot;their were children%26quot;.
I would say work on organizing your thoughts more, you obviously have really nice ideas here but you need to lay them out more clearly and not jump from one point to the other then back.
In this sentence: %26quot;Over time these feelings must have dulled%26quot; try not to use %26quot;must%26quot; s it seems a little harsh, use %26quot;might%26quot; instead.
You also didn't post your entire essay so I hope you did a good job on your conclusion.
I would give it an 85% because improvements can be made.
Grade my essay? give me a percent grade please, and any comments you feel like saying?
um. i dont think you should have used personal pronouns like, %26quot;my, i, we%26quot; ect. and what grade are you in, this sounds like a 8th grader.?
