I%26#039;m having difficulty maintaining a long distance relationship due to apparent communication problems.
For example: My partner once said to me in a conversation (on the phone), %26quot;I%26#039;m going to be out this coming Sunday night%26quot; and then in a later communication (email) said, %26quot;You can ring me either Saturday or Sunday night%26quot;.
Logically, by deduction, I concluded that she would not be home Sunday night, so I rang Saturday night and asked why she appeared to contradict herself.
The answer given was that her circumstances had changed and that she would now be home Sunday night (I had already reasoned this).
The answer was logically correct, but because it was beyond my knowledge and control that circumstances had changed (she didn%26#039;t tell me her changed circumstances until questioned) appears to be a self contradiction (that is - I won%26#039;t be home Sunday night - I will be home Sunday night).
Circumstances dictate decisions in people%26#039;s lives, but because people%26#039;s lives are dynamic, circumstances are always changing.
Two things confuse me.
1. How can I possibly commit to a decision with my partner, if circumstances in her life beyond my control are always changing?
2. Should my partner account for all her movements to me, if/when circumstances beyond her control arise?
Thanks in advance. |||Hi P, I don%26#039;t think she%26#039;s intentionally trying to confuse you. What I believe is that she feels closed in and she doesn%26#039;t want you keep tabs on her. Perhaps she feels like your trying to be to controlling (even if you aren%26#039;t). On the other hand, some people are a little scatter-brained. They can%26#039;t really keep track of things, places, appointments, and that%26#039;s not being manipulative, or untrustworthy, she just can%26#039;t remember what she has planned. Yes, the other answerer is right. Have a talk with her about the issue, and gently tell her you%26#039;re confused by this. She may very well be confused by her answers too.|||Many, many things in life are beyond your control. By that rationale, how can you commit to anything, ever? I%26#039;m gonna go out on a limb and guess that you might be making to big of a deal out of this.|||I would sit down and have a heart to heart.
If that doesn%26#039;t work, you two were not meant to be.
