How does this make you feel?
As I write this, there is a man sweeping garbage into a trash can on my street. He has earphones on and he is humming loudly to what sounds from my window like Andrea Bocelli. He is smiling and has a spring in his step as he makes his way down the street.
A gorgeous sight, so refreshing in its simplicity at a time when some people are afraid they’re going to have to drive the same car for more than two years and tarnish their image in the neighborhood.
If there is anything resembling an advantage to our country’s current financial crisis, it is that you will begin to see the truth emerge in your own and other people’s lives. In many ways, this economy is a mirror and it’s your chance to take a hard look. Like it or not.
There is nothing like being forced into nitty-gritty simplicity to tell you more about yourself and your life than you could ever imagine. This is a time when you will find out what your marriage is really made of. It is when you will see how loving a parent you really are. It will show you who your true friends are. It is when your capacity for happiness will be tested. It will give you a chance to see your default temperament. It will expose what defines you and how you are in the world.
Much of this came to mind, believe it or not, while I caught a rerun of an episode of Sex and the City. Very early in the series, the character of Charlotte had a grand idea or image of what her dream man – and hence, life -- would be. In this particular episode, Carrie’s narration tells us that Charlotte’s date works for Bear Stearns. I had to laugh. Nothing against Bear Stearns, but I marvel at how much the image conjured up by a Wall Street guy has changed over the last decade.
I recently read on a message board that a woman broke up with her fiancé after he was laid off from his Wall Street job. No more cool millions, no more engagement. Now there’s a double whammy for a man, huh?
It all makes me wonder how this economy will affect our societal “norms” as time goes on. I venture to say that some of the worst ones will fly in the face of those who bought into them. Or maybe I’m just being hopeful.
For example, what does this economic downturn mean for the gold-diggers who had hoped to stake a claim on one of those high earners? Or for the women who had already snagged one and have now seen their net worth dwindle into the danger zone? And what about the men who sought the money and power in hopes of building material wealth to attract these one-dimensional relationships? How will they all define or redefine themselves?
In the case of Charlotte, a failed marriage to a doctor was her comeuppance. She even compared that marriage to a “fake Fendi” in one episode. Always a believer in idealistic love, she made a shift with regard to appearances when she met a man to whom she was unexplicably attracted despite the fact that he was bald and ate with his mouth full. Surely even her fictional self would tell you this was a meaningful shift that led her to real wealth.
What shows up in your reflection? What preconceived notions might you challenge in order to not only survive the downturn but eventually thrive? Is there finger-pointing going on in your relationship or have you teamed for a real solution? Are you hung up in ego and being stubbornly petulant or have you thoughtfully considered your options and created a transition plan?
And, of course, there’s the material aspect of things. Can you even wrap your head around the idea of taking your possessions down a notch? If not, this is the time to really examine why. What’s at stake for you? Pride? Status? Having to actually feel your loneliness?
Last weekend, in observance of Columbus Day, I watched a PBS special on Italian-Americans and it showed the simplicity of life in those old neighborhoods. Fresh vegetable, bread and meat trucks came through so families could buy what they needed. The immigrants were so happy to be here, reveling in freedom, working hard to build something.
We can’t go back. But we can take away something from their experience.
The guy cleaning the street to the sounds of Andrea Bocelli seemed to really get that.
Is this economic problem really as bad as it seems?
We retirees on a low fixed income, who had already simplified our lives down to the bone, are probably going to do all right, since we have many free or inexpensive pleasures and don't have unrealistic illusions to be shattered. Those who had built a house of cards on materialistic ambitions and overextended credit are going to have a very hard time of it. Some will learn better attitudes, and some will stay miserable.
Don't make assumptions about other people. Many use the free internet connection in the public library, and many have free time because they are unemployed.
Is this economic problem really as bad as it seems?
What you are totally missing is the fact that there people who are REALLY REALLY REALLY struggling out there. I am not talking about middle class people who own a house , two cars, take vacations , etc. Those people are RICH. THEY are whining because the gas prices, food prices, and stock market troubles have CUT INTO their excessive spending. They are not STARVING TO DEATH. They are not having to choose between bills and food.
THE REAL PEOPLE who are struggling are people who are looking for work, do NOT own a home, have NO savings, etc etc. Living a simple life is important no matter WHAT financial sitch you are in. The problem is when you cant even do that !!!!! I hear people whine about, 'oh this crisis is cutting into my SAVINGS!' SAVINGS?? SAVINGS?? I WISH I had a savings to fall back on. There is NOTHING to save!!!! We are frugal, balanced and hard working like many others.MANY people struggle through no fault of their own.
